When I wrote this I was on a plane from New York to Houston. I was at my second retreat in Lisa Fabrega’s mastermind program. (the first retreat was in Panama.)
The NY theme was VISIBILITY.
Was it a coincidence that I found myself bored at times? (boredom is a form of resistance, by the way.) My body got so tired and my mind wandered. Visibility is something I’ve struggled with for a long time. And I know myself enough NOW to know that when I check out and feel like leaving the room, I need to snap out of it and pay attention.
Visibility is a bitch. Ego has to be put aside for those of us who are frozen and want to have everything figured out before starting. How am I suppose to find out how I can most help people if I’m scared to experiment.
Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of fun and work on some pretty cool projects, and get to travel with awesome people. It’s just that I know there is something else I’m here to do. Why else would certain things not work out? (more on this later.)
To make room for what is suppose to happen.
I’ve been inconsistent with writing. I’m always unsure what to even write about. Always second guessing. Wondering…is this what really defines me as a person? Is this what I want to be doing in my life? Afraid to put myself out there because omg what are people going to think when they get to know the real me.
If I want genuine connections, friends, and people in my life that really get me, I have to go all in, starting now. Why does this whole thing have to be online for the world to see? Because for me, when I’ve done things that are uncomfortable I’ve connected with people who really see and hear me. (And putting my truth out in the open is very uncomfortable to me.)
communication = connection = genuine awesomeness
I’ve made a commitment to write and post every week. Every Tuesday you’ll see something new. If it sucks, so what. I’m giving myself permission to totally suck and be messy. And that is as liberating as it gets.
Why now? What happened? New York.
The most creative, stylish, inspirational, diverse, graffiti ridden city. There’s so much grit, it’s what makes it great.
So if grit, stories, people, and imperfection make it great, then it’s gotta work on a personal level too.
Do you know in what ways you’re hiding out that are holding you back? Whether it’s digitally online or offline in your relationships.